Drinking quotes...Dean Martin to Homer Simpson to Benjamin Franklin...we got 'em. Check out our directory. Quotes, toasts, sayings reflections on drinking and just funny stuff that may only vaguely pertain to drinking...all can be found below. Yes, there are many millions other drinking quotes we did not think of. Actually, we were gonna finish this list, but we had to head out before the liquor store closed! So here is our partial directory of drinking quotes. If you would like to submit your own e-mail us!
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
Don Marquis
Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working
Harold Rudolph
One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn't live like the previous generation. It hasn't yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing
A drunk mans words are a sober man's thoughts.
Steve Fergosi
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
Sir Winston Churchill
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
WC Fields
It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow then to spend tonight like there's no money.
P.J. O’Rourke
But the greatest love--the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.
Irish love ballad
The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish don't bother you.
American folk saying
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Sir Winston Churchill
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Oscar Wilde
Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.
Anonymous
Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?
Milan Maximovich
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
Henny Youngman
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
George Best
An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.
Alvan L. Barach
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
Irish proverb
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
Karl Marx
The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
William Blake
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
Richard Braunstein
This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
Samuel Johnson
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson
Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce
You can always retake a class, but you can never relive a party.
Drew Navikas
I can walk, I can fly, I can drive -- I'm bustaMike yo, gimme some mo'!!!
Mike , New York Bar Store
I'm going to buy a boat... do a little travelling, and I'm going to be drinking beer
John Welsh, Brooklyn bus driver who won $30 million in the New York lottery
Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Homer Simpson
Beer! How did you know?
Homer Simpson
Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.
Homer Simpson
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
Lois: Oh Peter, you've been drinking again.
Peter: Nah, I'm just exhausted cause I've been drinking all night.
Family Guy TV Show
I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.
Brian, The Family Guy TV Show
First of all: If it wasn't for beer there were at least three persons who probably wouldn't even be married: me, Jefferson, and probably Lisa Marie Presley
Al Bundy, Married With Children
This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption... Beer!
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
They took the bar! The whole f*cking bar!
Bluto, Animal House
Ziggy socky, ziggy socky, hoi hoi hoi
Billy "The Fox" Foster
We drink and we die and continue to drink.
Dennis Leary
Since men buy beer, advertisers have to cater to what we want, and hold on to your corn cob pipe, we like pretty women. That's why pretty women sell good things and ugly women sell... tennis raquets. Pretty woman cars, ugly woman mini vans. Pretty woman make us buy beer, UGLY WOMAN MAKE US DRINK BEER!!!
Married with Children, Al Bundy
To alcohol... The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson
Beer is proof God loves us, and wants us to be happy
Ben Franklin
For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship) our victuals being much spent, especially our Beer.
Ship's log of the Mayflower
Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and celebrate the good days
Ancient Egyptian proverb
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.
Don Marquis
